KENTUCKY

(posted here for posterity)

Rupp Arena: The house that Racism built

Rupp Arena: The Incest Survivors Clubhouse


Kentucky state song is Crystal Method's 'Trip like I do'

Kentucky state Bird is a featherless Chicken grown in a lab

Kentucky state Tree is a burning cross

Kentucky state flower is an empty shotgun shell filled with oxy pills


Not sure what bluegrass is, but I'm pretty sure it's slang for Crystal meth

Due to popular demand, Rupp Arena concessions now sells Iodine, Ephedrine, and Drain-O

What did one Kentucky dentist say to the other Kentucky dentist?.... Haha there are no dentists in Kentucky

Kentucky. We make the Jersey Shore look sophisticated

Visit Lexington! What happens in the meth lab, stays in the meth lab


Kentucky Econmic Breakdown:

85% Meth and Oxy sales

8%  TV crews filming MTV's 'Teen Mom'

4%  Organ Donation (would be higher if organs weren't polluted with drugs)

3%  Guns and Ammo


Kentucky: Even Mississippi makes fun of us

Things Kentucky doesn't have:
Paved Roads
Modern Healthcare
Constant Electricity
Laws against Incest
Distinction between Police and Drug Dealers
Babysitters that aren't Canine
Hamburgers not made of Horse Meat


Colonel Sanders is a pedophile

Bowl Preview - Part 2

Jorts Corps -

Welcome back to PART TWO of the least useful information you'll gain this year:

BLUE's 2011 BOWL PREVIEW

A quick update on how my picks are doing so far: Terrible. But you say, Oh! look Blue, you picked 11 of 18 correct. And Oh look! your Bowl Mania picks are in the top 12%. And yes, you would be correct, that's true. But by those metrics, we should be saluting CJ who has picked 15/18 correct, including the last 14 in a row. A great feat by your simple metrics. But then you realize CJ has simply read the Vegas odds for every game and picked the favorite in each, a feat easily accomplished by a computer or partially trained monkey. Suddenly your simple metrics seem quaint.

I say 'Terrible' because everything I love has lost: Western Michigan, Charlie Strong, Our Military. And everything I hate has won: The state of Ohio (TWICE!), Missouri, people from New Jersey, The Moles, Mormons.

On to the Picks

Meineke Car Care of Texas Bowl, Texas A&M vs. Northwestern -

THE PICK: NORTHWESTERN

-- Just to clarify: I do not care about bowl games. This game is currently on TV, right now as I type, and I would rather type jokes and watch Kentucky basketball than watch this game. Also, get bent TamU. I hope you and your fake army get kicked in the nuts.

Hyundai Sun Bowl, Georgia Tech vs. Utah -- THE PICK: GaTech -- (insert joke)

AutoZone Liberty Bowl, Cincinnati vs. Vanderbilt -- THE PICK: VANDY

-- There is no way the state of Ohio gets to 3-0. Also, Vandy is good, up is down, cats living in harmony with dogs, AS PROPHESIED IN REVELATION THIS MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE END TIMES

Kraft Fight Hunger, Illinois vs. UCLA -- THE PICK: ILLINOIS

-- FSU fans can tell you, No coach is better post-firing than Ronald Q. Zook.

Chick-fil-A Bowl, Virginia vs. (25) Auburn -- THE PICK: VIRGINIA

-- A coaching staff on the rise versus one on the ropes. Auburn was lost both coordinators in recent weeks. One of which, took a massive pay cut to coach elsewhere. I'm not saying that's a bad sign Auburn, but THATS A BAD SIGN AUBURN

TicketCity Bowl, (19) Houston vs. (22) Penn State -- THE PICK: HOUSTON

-- Will Penn State hurry up and pick a new coach so I can mock him for choosing to coach at that train wreck of a situation.

Outback Bowl, (17) Michigan State vs. (16) Georgia -- THE PICK: MICHIGAN ST

-- List of the best things about Athens, GA: 3)Free Diploma Factory 2) R.E.M. 1) Louis Grizzard (not receiving votes: Football Team)

Capital One Bowl, (20) Nebraska vs. (9) South Carolina -- THE PICK: SOUTH CAROLINA

-- Time for the ole Ball Coach to exact a little revenge from the last time he played Nebraska. /Has memory... cries.

Taxslayer.com Gator Bowl, Ohio State vs. Florida-- THE PICK: FLORIDA

-- No jokes here. There is nothing funny about what happened at Florida this year. Just tears. Lots of tears.

Rose Bowl Game presented by Vizio, (10) Wisconsin vs. (5) Oregon =-- THE PICK: OREGON

- It would be so cool if this game counted for something, you know like some kind of end of the year system for crowning a champion of college football, with multiple great games leading up to a final game.... no, that would be weird. who would want that?

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, (4) Stanford vs. (3) Oklahoma State -- THE PICK: OKIE STATE

-- If I could pick one person in the whole world to be my new best friend, it would be T Boone Pickens. Crazy about college football? check. Crazy amount of money? check. a crazy awesome nickname? check. T BOONE!!! BE MY FRIEND!

Discover Orange Bowl, (23) West Virginia vs. (15) Clemson -- THE PICK: WEST F. VIRGINIA

-- Just what Miami needs - Rednecks from West Virginy. NONONO NOT DIS COUCH SENOR! YOU NO BURN MIS COUCH! ITS A LOUIS VITTON!! NOOOOOOOO

AT&T Cotton Bowl, (8) Kansas State vs. (6) Arkansas -- THE PICK: ARKANSAS

-- Easiest pick left on the board. Dont be stupid, stupid.

BBVA Compass Bowl, SMU vs. Pittsburgh -- THE PICK: PITT

-- Lets discuss the Big East: Seems like quite a dropoff in bowl quality from Orange to Compass/Belk/Insight/Pinstripe. Good call by all the rats who left the sinking ship: Miami, VaTech, BC, Pitt, WVU, Syracuse, TCU. Can we just change the name back to Conference USA?

GoDaddy.com Bowl, Arkansas State vs. Northern Illinois -- THE PICK: A STATE

-- Speaking of rats off a ship, Gus Malzahn! the new head coach at Arkansas state? C'mon Auburn, get your superstar coordinator a decent job.

Allstate BCS National Championship Game, (1) LSU vs. (2) Alabama -- THE PICK: LSU

-- Hello God, if you care at all about who wins football games (a premise I questioned, until Tebow convinced me otherwise) Please don't let Nick Saban win this game. He's not cool. and Its not like you'll have to see him in the afterlife anyway. We'd all be much happier with LSU winning. Ok, that's all. How was your birthday, good?... How old are you now? ...2012 years old?! noooo, you don't look a day over 2000. Oh, and thanks for the Ipad. How'd you know?... Oh, right, omnipotence.


Blue