Games of the Week- the Doubleheader

Thats right folks, The rarity of the college football doubleheader will performed by non other than your truly. Two days, Two night games, Two tailgates, Too bad you're not with me. Is it wrong if I'm more excited about the USF/WVU game? and yes that is a slight to yall Auburn fans. First some randoms to get out of the way-



-"College Football, it beats anything in America except Love" "the Love wears off, the love for college football doesn't"
This nuget of wisdom comes from the fat, lovable, totally irreplaceable Beano Cook





-Randy Shannon I have never read anything that has made me feel good about Miami football. Then I read this. If you've got time, it's well spent here, learning about a guy with a rough past who has defied the odds.


- I am going to LSU. For those of you looking for an adventure I know a guy you might be able to hitch a ride with

-Watch Friday Night Lights - This show is good, thats all Ill tell you. You can watch season one anytime. Season two starts next Friday. Its good, even women will like it. No I did not watch it just cause the Sports Guy said so... Ok I did.


On to the games


West Virginia vs. South Florida - 8:00
GAME OF THE WEEK - West Virginia is looking for revenge. Last year the Bulls went to Morgantown and took away the Eer's chances at the Big Show. Now Steve Slaton and Pat White are coming to Tampa to try and run the Bulls off the field. "Ricky Bobby" Rodrigez ("I wanna go fast!") has his team looking good so far, but this is the first real test for his team. The Bulls on the other hand have gone to Auburn and won in Overtime (thats a big deal). It'll also be a sold out crowd at Raymond James, What!?!?! Soldout for the Bulls?!?! yep, unfortunately this is Tampa and every team around here has to go through years' of losing first. Could USF buck the trend, win the game and earn their first top ten ranking? I say Yes.
USF31 - W.Virginia 28

Auburn vs. UF - 8:00
I know this isn't the sexy matchup we all wanted (doesn't it creep you out when games, or sports are described as "sexy" - What about football is "sexy"? but you thought nothing of it when you read it just now.) Auburn, led by their QB "Sucks the" has wowed exactly no one on thier way to a 2-2 record. On the other sideline we have the Gators, led by rock star/super hero Tim Tebow, are number 4 in the country, with an offense so explosive that Al-queda would be jealous, playing in the loudest stadium in the country, and feeling like they need to prove something after a closer than expected win at Ole' Miss. So why should anyone care? Well it's still Auburn/Florida and sometimes thats all that matters. Also, UF has a tendancy to play close games lately, and Auburn's Defense is very talented in some places, and well... ummm... I don't know, Auburn just makes up points sometimes.... (seriouly, last year, they beat the National Champs without scoring an offensive TD... really... they did. Look it up.)... Just watch the game. It'll be better than it should, I guarantee. There is no reason Auburn should score, our D doesn't allow running, and Auburn has "sucks the" throwing passes. But I'm telling you it'll be close.
UF 38 - Auburn 31


California vs. Oregon - 3:30
Clearly the best game on in this time slot, however, I'd bet my left nut that ABC will show Texas/KState or Rutgers/Maryland or worse yet MichiganSt/Wisconsin instead(Why would someone bet their "left nut"? What would be the payoff? a third nut? Not sure if thats worth the risk). My only hope is that with Lance's screwy satellite deal we get the Cal/Oregon game. My guess is the local will be MSU/Wisconsin and Lance's will be Rutgers/Maryland.
Michigan State 18- Wisconsi 25

Alabama vs. FSU - 5:00
This game is in Jacksonville. Yes, I know that it doesn't make sense. Jacksonvillle is 3 hours from Tally and not anywhere near Alabama. Its illogical, I know. At least at first glance. Heres the deal- FSU is having trouble selling out home games. You might have noticed they only have five home games this year. This is no mistake. They'll make more money playing in Jacksonville. And the number one reason they're there is because if this was an FSU home game the Crimson tide would bring more fans than the Noles. Even in Jacksonville, look for there to be more Tiders than Noles. FSU couldn't stomach the embarrassment of having more visiting fans than Nole fans. Thats why they're in Jacksonville.
Bama28 - FSU7


-For Shame -I would like to say I am very disappointed in my friends. You all should be ashamed. Whether it be Bachelor partys, 21st birthdays, Car Shows, Weddings, regattas, dogs, or counting money in a casino; you all have no excuse. Despite the fact that "Auburn sucks", a phrase I utter every time we play Auburn, this is still the Auburn game and I am ashamed that fact has been lost on some of you. For those of you who care about quality college football, I'll be the lonely guy under the Oaks at Norman Hall. As for those of you with better things to do, I'll surely welcome you back in November, but... I'll always know.

YouTube Magic

Looks like the Longhorns have spent too much time on the Dance Floor this offseason


Only a scratched finger? if thats the case I want a ride


Watch the Magic Bat. Best trick ever.



Will Hill, wants to play with Major Wright


If I had any explanation I would give it to you, but....

Monday Fallout: now made with real Monday

This is the kind of weekend it was for the Gators.



Yeah, thats former Gator Kerwin Bell. This weekend was like a spike to the nuts, then someone shoved us, then we were flagged for taunting. If you're following the analogy, Gator fans got a big head last week, then while celebrating, caused damage to our groin and were knocked on our ass by Ole Miss. The AP/USA today polls penalized us by dropping us a spot behind OU. However, in the end, we have still just scored a TD and will laugh about this later.


- Gators squeak one out. the Team's collective rep took a hit for venturing into Mississippi (you know, if Florida is the wang of the US, then Mississippi is the inflamed prostate) The Rebel's Defense has to be proud. Their cover two/three/four defense didn't allow but one long play from scrimmage. They made the Gators nickel and dime em for every yard. Meanwhile, this walkon guy looks like a stud in the second half, completing passes all over our depleted and young and unproven and stupid secondary (those guys are a real mess, it goes way deeper than Kyle Jackson, although killing him probably would be enough atonement to the coverage gods, that they might allow us to play decent the rest of the season.)However, One man was greater than all the rest. Tebow's superhuman powers have only strengthened.

Tebow is a Tsunami - Just an unstoppable force that no hyperbole can contain. One of the most impressive QB performances ever. Not flashy or technically perfect, but Tebow is a QB with a combination of skills no QB has ever had before. We ran him 27 times for 160 yards.... yeah read that again. I know, even more ridiculous the second time. And for those of you worried he'd be tired by the end of a game where he was involved in 61 offensive plays, you're wrong. He finished the game with 6 runs in a row, 2 of which produced 1st downs, to run out the clock, at the end of which he jumped up and down and pumped his fists like a mad man. Too bad we only get to root for him for about 36 more games.

-Kentucky is legit. This is the biggest story line from the weekend that does not involve Tim Tebow (just so you know, thats how every hyperbole will end for the rest of the year - for example: "West Virginia has the best backield in the country- that does not involve Tim Tebow", OR "Transformers was the best movie of the summer - that did not involve Tim Tebow" OR "the Beatles are the greatest band ever- that did not involve Tim Tebow) . The game against the Gators in late October at night in the cold suddenly looks like a nightmare waiting to happen. But I'll reserve judgment till Oct. 4 - a Thursday night showdown at South Carolina, we'll finally learn how they do against a complete team with a sane man for a coach. Cause at this point I'm still not sure. I'm sure they're good, just not sure I should be afraid "good".

-Houston Nutt continues theme - His career at Arkansas has been a rollercoaster of good and bad. This is just another down year for the Hogs. Too bad its gonna cost someone a Heisman.

-Miami looks impressive in Win? Brain does not compute.. Error... Error.. Oh wait, the opposing coach was Dennis Franchione.

Deep Breath - Georgia wins in OT, LSU is who we thought they were, Penn St. continues to disappoint, Louisville much worse than we thought, Nebraska has squeaker with Ball St., GT is no good, South FL rolls cant wait till Friday, Bama fans fall back to earth, Michigan the Big Ten favorite, whew, glad thats out of the way.

I, like Florida football team, am happy to just put this weekend behind me.

"I'm just anxious to get on the plane and get the hell out of here," -Urban Meyer

Well said sir, well said

My "Other" Teams

Everyone has them, no one really likes to talk about it. It goes against the rules. In College athletics, you pick a team (or "have" a team, some people don't actually get to pick) Thats your team for life. No switching or trading. Thats who you root for, and you only get One. Thats the rules, and if you break them, you are a sports bigamist or polygamist. And you will be treated as the outsider you are, much like actual polygamist.
But we all do it. Theres that team from across the country you check the bottomline for. That school you secretly pull for in every game but one. Some say its OK. That there are situations where its allowed. Clay Travis has written extensively on the subject and the rules that apply(he's a proponent of sports bigamy, just within his rules). Recently Page 2 on ESPN.com tried to make a list of rules for fans. These attempts to define the "rules" are really just masked attempts at letting the bigamist feel better. The basic principle is you can't root for a rival school, ever. And in college football every school is a potential rival. Until this past year, I had no problem with Ohio State. They were boring and crappy, but I was a well-wisher in that I wished no specific harm on them. But that changed as soon as we played them 3 times in two sports for two titles in the span of 3 months. Now I, of course, hate OSU and their lame ass fans.
So in theory, you should have just one team, and in all other games you should root for whatever is in the best interest of your one team. However, this isn't always much fun. You'd spend 95% of your time rooting for teams to lose, and that seems pretty negative, and also, most of the teams you'd root against would probably be above .500 teams, so you'd be disappointed more often than not. In light of these facts, I give you the list of teams I root for when the Gators aren't playing. I'm not proud of it. I goes against all I stand for, but its a reality of the sport. And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone, although thats really no excuse. And don't think I won't still mock you for your divided interest, I would expect the same treatment for myself. You'll also notice that none of my "other" teams are rivals (I'm using this term loosely, as already having been defined above) of my School, with the notable exception of one (I hate myself so much for it too).

South Florida -
My ties to USF begin geographically. Its by far the closest D-1 school to home. Second, my mother is a USF grad. And Third, a close friend is a diehard USF fan whose uncle happens to coache the team. While none of these mean anything- I'm still a polygamist, there's no excuse - I at least have some ties to the school. The Bulls have never played UF in any sport in my collective memory, therefor we're still not rivals... yet.

Penn State -
The reasoning behind my fondness for PSU is obviously their coach. I have never heard a bad word about him and he's also the only shot we have of not letting Booby Bowden keep the all-time win record. His latest antics, of making the team clean the stadium after home games, and revealing he just discovered the TV show MASH, are priceless anecdotes that add to his crazy old man persona. I'm truly jealous of PSU fans for being able to root for a coach for 40 some odd years and have absolutely no qualms about his actions or policies. JoePa is an icon and should go down as one of the greatest coaches ever, much greater than that louse at FSU. and He's 80 years old for cryin out loud, thats amazing.

Virginia Tech -
This one seems obvious this year as the whole nation hopes for good things for the victims of that tragedy. But my allegiance was before this year and for other reasons. I like the name hokies, I like the fans I've met, I like the home crowd, and I like that they play Miami every year. Also they play a fun type a football, with great special teams and a penchant for turnovers. In 2000, I never wanted a team, not named the Gators to win more than the Hokies vs. FSU in the title game.

Oklahoma -
The recurring theme is gonna be coaching. There are a lot of coaches I root for regardless of what school they coach, and a lot I root against. This is one such case. Bob Stoops was the DC at UF in the magical year of 1996. It was his first year as DC and many credit his handling of the D as the factor that put us over the top. These are people you just don't forget: Stoops, Grant, Jones, Shyatt, Strong, Mattison, Mullen. The assistants that helped win it all. I have no ties to OU at all, if Stoops left, I'd quit supporting em in a heartbeat.

Oregon - I know this looks trendy, and really I have no excuse. I started rooting for em circa 1998 and It was a trendy, popular thing to do. However, I have looked for reasons to stop and have come up with none (except those two douche bags who painted themselves green and came to every gameday show @ UF for a while) The Gators have never played them, their Unis are crazy, their home crowd is great... I don't know... Go Ducks -

Georgia Tech -
This one probably looks funny to any old-school SEC fan (of which there are zero that read this, old school SEC fans don't know how to work computers, much less the interweb) GaTech used to be in the SEC until 1963, and many SEC fans still don't like them for leaving. I have no memory of this and they play UGA and FSU on a regular basis so they're OK in my book. Also the rambling wreck is just cool.

Texas Tech -
I, just like women, dig the longball.... ummm what? Texas Tech has made a name these past few year doing nothing but throwing the ball all over the field. Their coach is an innovator and a nutcase. Mike Leach is also one of my heroes. Here's a man who played a single year of high school football in which he didn't play a down. Then in his mid-twenties decided, "I'm not gonna be a lawyer, I'm gonna coach football." And he's done it like no one else on earth. If you're bored check this out, its a long article about the anomaly that is Mike Leach

South Carolina -
Oh Lord forgive me. Yes I root for the Gamecocks... I leave ample time for you to boo and hiss...

Ok, we all know the Cocks are coached by my childhood hero Steve Spurrier. and we all know he left my Gators for the NFL and then returned to college football at a school not only in the Gator's conference but even their division. This means we'll have to play him every year. Just a despicable act on his part... Just despicable. He clearly doesn't live by the rules of fandom, but we should have known that. He doen't live by anyones rules. He's Steve Spurrier and he does as he pleases. When he announced his new job I was outraged, and vowed to root against him for the first time in my life. But that lasted all of like one half of one game. I can't help rooting for Spurrier. He's everything right about college football, and to root agianst him is like rooting against the sport. Unfortunatly there is one game a year when my one allegiance deeper rooted than him takes over. This is by far the worst day of the year for me, I can't stand it, it makes me sick. Like watching a divorced couple I'm friends with fight to the death. It sucks... Cocks..... Dang it






So Who do you root for? I promise I won't make fun of you for it... at least not for very long...

Games of the Week- Tortoise week (slow and steady)

So many games. So little jobs

I try to only single out games of interest to me. There has to be a good matchup or at least a single good storyline, and only for teams I care about. These include teams in the top ten, teams in the SEC and teams from Florida. (guess which team qualifies as all three).
This weekend strangely has a whole bunch of games that qualify as good, but very few are "great" games. This weekend will be the equivalent of rooting for Ohio State. No real excitement, just plain old football. So hunker down (is it hurricane season still? how many years are they gonna cry wolf about a bunch of hurricanes?(sorry Mexico)) and get comfy on the couch, time to grind one out.

Tonight:
Texas A&M vs. Miami - 7:30
Good enough to make me write this a day early? I'm not so sure. This is actually a good match-up of sub-par teams. I can see Miami dropping to 2-2 here, really makes me sad.... really sad...
A&M 24 - Miami 21

Friday: Oklahoma vs. Tulsa - 8:00
This one could be a shootout. Oklahoma has had no problem scoring and Tulsa is led by rebel OC Gus Malzahn (you'll remember him as the coach of Springdale HS who caused a ruckus @ Arkansas last year) scores 45 a game... Just kidding, Oklahoma wins big. Why are they playing @ Tulsa anyway? - Texas did it last week too, is playing a crappy team on the road cool now? Should UF play at the Citadel next year?I don't get it. Also, Why is Tulsa the "Golden Hurricanes"? Tulsa, Oklahoma? I'm no weatherman but I'm 100% sure the people in Tulsa have seen more Leprechauns than Hurricanes. and What is a "Golden" Hurricane anyway? (I think I saw a Japanese movie by that title in the adults only section) the people of Tulsa apparently think a hurricane and a tornado are the same thing. What kind of back-assward redneck is running this institution of higher learning? Heres the lame story for those who want an answer.
OU 45 - Tulsa 28


Saturday:

Florida vs. Ole' Miss - 12:30
Kickin off before noon is always a struggle(its central time there). For the team and the viewer. It just leads to ugly football. Luckily, our team isn't full of drunks who'll stay out late on Friday... coughGrossmancough ... So thank God for the hard prayin' Tim Tebow, who's gonna light up the Rebels for 300 in the air and 100 on the ground, Amen. Tebow is getting legitimate Heisman talk this week which is a little too early, but hey, when you got something this special, no need to be humble (even though he is). Time to buy a new shirt
UF 49 - Ole Miss 17

UNC vs. South Florida - 12:00
The Bulls have Butch Davis coming to town. 7 years ago that might have meant something. The Tar heels are far from being a contender, and they'll be far from winning this game. For those of you wondering, and I think there is one guy, Coach Leavitt was Co-Defensive coordinator with Bob Stoops in 1995 at Kansas State. In 1996 Coach Leavitt got the USF job and started from scratch. The same year Stoops was given the job of DC at Florida and won the title, how close Coach Jimmy got to the UF job we'll never know, but that would have been cool....
USF31 - UNC 12

South Carolina vs. LSU - 3:30
The Ole' Ball Coach heads to the Bayou where it'll be 11 on 1. His brain versus their brawn. Good luck coach, your gonna need it.
USC 28 - LSU 36


Penn State vs. Michigan - 3:30
Is Penn State for real? They've played three really bad teams so far, and its pretty easy to look good against teams like ND. I say they are, and even if they aren't, they're still better than this mess of a Michigan team. As a side note, Penn State is one of my "other" teams that I root for for various reasons (this is a whole post I'll cover later). The reason I root for them is JoePa and the all-time win record, please let Joe catch that phony, TV-evangelist lookin', car salesmanish, Dirty Politicianlike, smooth talkin, senile old fart smellin, turn a blind eyein', golf cartin' cheater up in Tally.
PSU 24 - Michigan 14

Kentucky vs. Arkansas - 6:00
I just can't believe Kentucky is relevant. This game is time for them to show the deserve that ranking next to their name. My guess, and this is based on years of Kentucky football failures, is that they'll let their fans down again. Lots of Interesting Matchups in this one though. Kentucky's run defense(324 yrds to Kent St.) gets another shot at out-crapping (new word, yah) their pass defense(366 yards to Louisville). At this point, amazingly, the run D is worse - and that does not bode well in Fayetteville. And if Andre Woodson is as good as advertised he'll put up big numbers on a D that allowed the "gunslinger" John Parker Wilson(and if ever there was a "gunslinger" its JP, this kid doesn't fear the INT at all) to go for 327 4TDs and of course 2INTs.
Ark 42 - Kentucky 38

Georgia vs. Alabama - 7:45
Georgia closed practices this week to the public, can you say "paranoid" coach Richt? thats what I said until I read this.
"I don't care where Oklahoma would have practiced in Louisiana. It would have been hard for them. If somebody wanted to do that [spy], it would have gotten done." - Nick Saban
Appears Saban might study from the Belicheat school of signal stealing. It's the hot topic lately and every coach has come up with their own excuse. I like Meyers words "we tried it, it didn't work" - I used to use that one too. "No mom, I tried beer one time, it made me sick. I'll never do it again."
Gameday is in town for this one, and this week they got it right, This is the GAME OF THE WEEK. Too bad for UGA though, Georgia's paraniod cause they aint that good. Bama wins another one. Roll Tide
Bama 31 - UGA 21




"Does Tennessee just have a bad team"
-Lynn Courtney



Heres how "not" to be a good parent - (I didn't know Mich. fans were this crazy, I mean this is drunk southerner crazy, just more coherent and well spoken)

Top Ten - Teams you should fear

1.LSU - The Tigers are the last team you want on your schedule. They own the most impressive win of the year, the VaTech beat-down. The most talented Defense in the country isn't alone either. The Offense looks, dare I say, better than last year. Jimbo Fisher's departure is looking more and more like a bonus for LSU and a bummer for FSU. I've heard them described as a Guerrilla will a Chainsaw in place of certain anatomy- Sounds about right.

plus they got the Crazy fans to go along with the crazy coach, and crazy good team


2.USC - I'll put them at two without a whole lot of evidence. They've only played two games and I'm yet to see a complete game by their Defense, or any sign of a dominant Passing attack. Booty certainly hasn't been more impressive than the other three QBs in the top 4 (and all of them are new starters!)

3.Florida - Well now we deserve it. Before Saturday over-rated was a fitting term. Ask Tennessee if the Gators are overrated. The Offense is good enough, and multi-dimensional enough to score 40 on anyone.. maybe even The Guerrilla in Louisiana? But, the D's performance thus far is the surprise that makes the Gators a Title Contender. Game of the Year status has been attached to the Oct. 6 showdown on the bayou.

4.Oklahoma - You know the Sooners play D, But the Offense numbers have been astounding for a group as unheralded as the Gators D. Not a real test in the background yet, so we'll hold off juddement until the Oct. 6 game w/ Texas (Oct. 6 is gonna be rediculous)

5.Cal - Here's where the Half-teams start. Cals got the players to score tons of point, including two guys who can score on special teams. Too bad the Defense isn't up to par. Beware Trojans, these guys can win in a shoot-out

6.West Virginia - These guys probably have the most exciting offense in the country. When the Backup RB outplays the two Heisman candidates in the backfield, you know you've got talent. Some Shootouts loom on the Schedule

7. Penn State - When the Lions can score points, they usually have a good year. And they've scored in bunches lately. Watch out Big Ten, these guys are your frontrunners

8. South Carolina - This may be a little high, but they have a great road win in Athens and are Coached by a Evil Genius. So don't count them out of any game... except this week at LSU, count them out of that.

9. Ohio State - Fear they're D. But score 24 and the W is yours

10. Oregon - Wow.... three Pac-10 teams? Something must be wrong. But seriously, they might be just as good as Cal. We'll know for sure on the 29th


OVERRATED TEAMS

Texas - Close game with Arkansas State to start the season and a close one on the road versus UCF. Tell me how this equals a top ten ranking. Please someone tell me. They're about three plays away from being Michigan.
Wisconsin - Well they're a Offensive half-team. I've yet to see them stop anyone for a whole game. Not gonna stop PSU, and not gonna score on OSU.
Boston College - this is preemptive. They belong around #15, but in 4 weeks (they've easy wins) they'll easily be in the top ten.
Hawaii - Did someone miss the fact that they play poorly on the mainland? A great home team, but that hardly qualifies to be in the 25

Monday Fallout:

can somebody get this dead hillbilly off my lawn?



Gator Look Scary Good - So good in fact, my confidence is at dangerous levels. So dangerous that I'm considering flying to Baton Rouge in a few weeks.
The Offense was who we thought they were. Its Time to Crown their Asses. Tebow, Harvin, and James had spectacular games. They're Playmakers - thats the Pee-Wee Secret Word of the Season, we got Playmakers everywhere. Tebow was Accurate, Fearless, Elusive, just everthing you hoped he'd be, so good I could kiss him. If He's not on your Heisman ballot at this point your not paying attention. The Tebow fall down throw was my #1 of the day (Was more impressive in person, all arm, 30 yards, on a rope) My #2 was the whirlwind of a TD run Harvin made late in the game. Harvin was all over the field, going deep, taking handoff, Reverses, everywhere, just everywhere. Playmakers makin plays. But lets not stop there, the plays made by Ingram, who is a downright ungardable playmaker, and Moore were what kept chains rolling and kept our young D on the sideline. Playmakers man, Playmakers.
Meanwhile, the Defense, which was the real question mark, might have been more impressive. We knew the playmakers we had on Offense, but to watch this young D hold the Vols to 13 offensive points was shocking. And early in the game they dealt with short fields too. And the momentum killing Fumble return.
Just a fantastic weekend in Gatorland. The Gators Produced enough tears in Knoxville to allow at least a dozen people to bathe. And by the end of the game I had Rockey Top stuck in my head and wasn't even mad about it. However, lets not get carried away. The Vols might not be that great, and We did have home field and ... Ah, screw it. Get excited Gators. We lost nine on D, our Senior QB, our RB, our #1 wideout, and our #2 sat out this game, And we looked better in this game than we did all of last season (except the OSU game) The above video is the best single game highlights I've seen since.... Gulp... 1996.

Its Great to Be....



Auburn continues fall into Michigan Territory - Seriously, who looks worse at this point, Auburn or Michigan? The losses to Oregon and South Florida may be a wash, and The wins are close against K-state and a Blowout of ND, which are approximately equal. So the real question is whats more embarrassing, a loss to 1- double A Appalachian St. or a loss to 1 double retarded Mississippi St.?
Also, how is there no one better than Brandon Cox on Auburn's roster? Did Tubs just forget to recruit QBs the last four years? for the record, Brandon's new nickname is "Likes the". And as for "likes the's" Daniel Cobb impersonation, apparently we aren't the only ones to notice. (scroll past jimmy C's Benny hill video).
As for the Gary Crawford lookalike, some would say its time for Tubs to get his resume in order, but really its only just time to joke about it. Just tell him Thanks for sucking all the air out of the next Gator home game, at least tickets might be cheaper now.

Southern Cal finally does something - Thanks to an Overrated Nebraska team, pundits everywhere have a reason to vote USC #1 for the first time this year (Before now, they had no evidence at all). I have to give it to them, They were impressive, running for over 300 yard on the ground, and Holding Neb's highly touted Offense to 10 non-garbage time points. Impressive, but not 59-20 Impressive. And as for Booty's Heisman run (only 144 yrds?), It's over Right?

Big East put back in place by SEC - After two weeks of wondering how good the Big East really was, with a huge win by S. Florida and gaudy Offensive numbers by W. Va and Louisville, I'm gonna put them right back where they were. S. Florida's win seems not so great now that Miss St. has duplicated it and Louisville was downed by a good, but not SEC good, Kentucky team. So, Pac-10 status seems about right for the Big East this year. They got a few good teams, and some quality wins, but don't get ahead of yourself with the National title talk.

Texas narrowly Escapes - Congrats to UCF and their new digs. Almost a great story. Almost.

Most Boring Storyline - Boston College will be 7-0 in a few weeks, and their QB Matt Ryan(even his name is boring) is considered a Heisman Candidate. Blah, Blah, Blah... is anyone listening?

Noles win Ugly - Here's some stats from Boulder. D.Weatherford 8/18 126yrds - FSU 221 total yards - FSU 55 plays, Colorado 79 plays - FSU 2.6 yards per rush - Colorado +10 mins time of possesion. Somehow the Noles won, Good for them.

Wisconsin plays bad D - 31 points to the Citadel? now We know what kinda half-team they are.

Saban's still a good Coach - Dang it. thats all, just Dang it.

ESPN want to have Notre Dames Baby - ND loses to Mich 38-0. I don't care, you don't care, Why does ESPN care? Why? the gameday article features three of their first four storys about ND. Why? Mark May must be prego with Weis' baby, its the only explanation (Lou Holtz to be godfather) (Rece Davis to kill self).

How Many batteries does it take to shock a Wolverine?



1-AA
(Mike L.)

Maybe you missed it - EDSBS was mentioned by the great Verne Lundquist during the Game. If you haven't already, check it out, its my favorite blog.

Sorry the Post is late. Three weeks in a row, the Monday Fallout hasn't been finished on Monday. Might need to change the name.

Week Three: Hillbillies are a comin'

Friday, time to bait the trap. Wheres that box of Krispy Kremes?!?! .... Ok, now quiet..... He's coming....




































Its Tennessee Week folks, So hide the snack cakes, Fulmers in town. (OK, enough fat jokes.... alright one more, check this out .... and this one)

Tennessee has become the most well-played rivalry on the schedule. Over the past 9 years the record is 5-4 UF, and six of those games were decided by 4 points or fewer. the all time win/loss is 17-19 UT (really, only 33 games?). And Tennessee has come to hate the gators more than any team on earth (especially Peyton). The feeling is obviously mutual. We could go back and forth all day on why each other has the biggest collection of white trash and dumb rednecks for fans, but everyone in the SEC knows the hillbillies from Knoxville are the runaway winners. The Vols game is also the reason for my "No Drinking on a Big GameDay" rule. Thats how much this means.

But enough history, its game week and the Vols are about to get Tebow'd (yep, its a verb now). The matchup looks to be all offense and high scoring. We'll find out if Tebow and his gang of youngsters are the real deal or not (they are the real deal, you heard it here first). If Cal can hang half a hundred on these guys so can the Gators, right? However, Tennessee wont just roll over, they put on some fireworks in Berkley too. So that's everyone's reasoning when predicting high scores, and big plays. I tend to agree. And the edge is clearly UFs, with the home crowd, the wiser coaching, and the special teams might have something to say (just got a feeling). So come on down to Gainesville, the best rivalry in the SEC as of late (yes bama, this one means more than yours) is about to give you a kick in the offensive nuts.
Gators 41 - Vols 35

As for the rest of Saturday, which falls as a distant second to the Game.


Ohio St. vs. Washington 3:30 - I won't watch a single minute of this game but, go Huskies. It's been the sleeper pick all week for an upset in Washington. The Huskies have a kid named Jake Locker(great name), who has been billed as the Tebow of the west. First lets get one thing straight, there is only One Tebow. But anyone who could be mentioned in the same breath must be pretty good. And Ohio St.'s Offense has looked only slightly better than Notre Dame. So I see a close one. Give the edge to the Home team. Also it'd be great to see Ty Willingham at 3-0 while the Irish are 0-3.


Lousiville vs. Kentucky 7:30 If you took the best players from both their Ds and put them on one team you'd still have a crappy Defense (the old 0 + 0 = 0 theory). So whats the record for most points in a game? 167? Well this one will top out at 168. Too bad for Kentucky most of those will belong to Brian Brohm and the Cards.


Arkansas vs. Bama 6:45 Sabans first big test at home, you know the Bear would have one his first big game at home. Good luck living up to that, guy. Whats the over under on how long till Saban gets sick of crazy Tide expectations (what do you mean 3 National Titles isn't enough?)? I put it at about 2 1/2 years. This is the end of the Honeymoon. Razorbacks by a TD.


USC vs. Nebraska 8:00 - This will be a good game, then the second quarter will start. USC runs away with it. USC is consistently one of the better teams in the early season. It takes about two months for them to fall asleep behind the wheel and crash headlong into an Oncoming Beaver Dam.


Notre Dame vs. Michigan - not that you needed me to tell you. This is the most over-hyped game ever. I said it, Most EVER. The loud noise you hear, that sounds like a 100 mph wind outside, yeah thats headed toward AnnArbor, for the greatest suckfest ever held.


As for those of you concerned why nobody has made a rap song out of the Leprechaun Video, you're in luck




See yall on Saturday, same great place, only with more hopeless rednecks - Welcome back Vols

Its a YouTube Wednesday

Favortie Hit from my Favorit game. UF 62 - Tenn. 37


Now the only thing I want to see is the Duck take on the Falcon


Fact Checkers aren't normally a part of this website



I hate the Trojans so much...

More Fallout -

Few more thoughts from the weekend -

-Why do the sports writers/coaches who vote in the polls go to bed on Saturdays before the late games are finished? Thats the only explanation for two things - 1. S. Florida being unranked after beating Auburn, receiving less votes than AU to boot. 2. LSU not being #1.
To anyone who kept their eyes open till 1 AM these facts are obvious mistakes.

-Why isnt' anyone talking about USF's big win. I think its a monumental win in the history of their program. You aren't supposed to go on the road and win in the heart of SEC land. Ask Cal how that went for them last year. Instead, ESPN guys were talking about Michigan and Notre Dame today, Why? I know America loves laughing at the misfortunes of others, but this is worse than slowing down to stare at a car wreck, this is like getting out of your car and rummaging through the burning wreckage, as a Ferrari Enzo does doughnuts behind you.

-Gators without Caldwell. This is a level Orange emergency. Its not that we can't replace him, we can, but Caldwell is the Senior leader out there. He's played Tennessee four times already. He knows the drill. He'll be sorely missed.

-VaTech - They're the car wreck I mentioned above. It's too bad really, We all wanted to see the Hokies succeed this year to the point that they were getting undue credit. The high ranking and talk of them possibly making the Championship if they won in Baton Rouge, was all just high hopes we had for a school in mourning. It would have been too good to be true, and so it is. They can still win that second rate conference they're in, but thats about it. Regardless, Win or Lose, we are all still Hokie fans.

-I'd like to make jokes about how big Jim Leavitt's new contract with Michigan will be, but I won't. It looks like Lloyd Carr will die a slow death this year. Can we please get back in the car and forget we stopped to look at this train wreck. Also. I just learned that Michigan fans shake keys during the game, not to signify that its time for the blown-out visitor to go home, but to signal "key" plays. This is the lamest cheer/crowd gesture I've ever heard of (besides Pompoms). Enjoy this season from hell Wolverines.

-The Wii Wiill get you Drunk.

-FBS = WTF, new name for D-1, is D-umb
Why did they try to change the name of D-1 to "Football Bowl Subdivision"? I'd go on a longer rant but we know the NCAA is poorly run, so lets just argree not to use the new name, OK?

-Your Dose of Youtube - this one is solid gold, Leprechaun Gold

Monday Fallout: the South(s) will rise again

Try to wipe this smile off my face. Just Try

Two weeks in the bag and I couldn't be happier, like kid on Christmas, like a pig in sh-... a blanket? At the risk of jinxing this - and for the record, I am jinxing this - This has been the most enjoyable two weeks of college football I can remember. (I of coarse mean, the best two weeks that didn't involve the Gators winning a Championship, which puts it pretty far down the list, HA - we win a lot) So Here's the best story lines of the weekend and why they make me happy.

-South Florida OT win @ Auburn - After Auburn's close call last week I expected them to be ready and prepared to play this weekend. They were ready and prepared allright, ready to turn the ball over and prepared to fall flat on their ass. I'd love to give all the credit to Grothe and the Bulls, but it felt like Auburn wanted to lose. "Oh you missed that field goal? here have the ball back, try it again. I'm sure you'll get this time." How many plays?, the fumble, interception, the other fumble, the kick return with two minutes left. But I won't give all the credit to Auburn's ineptitude. The Bulls played a mistake free game, with a solid running game, and a play-making Defense (allbeit, easy, silver plattered plays. Thank you very much Mr. Cox)
So Congrats to Coach Leavitt and his Team, Your officially the second best team in the state of Florida, also you made grown men cry (It's so early for Auburn to be irrelevant..... but they are). And Christian, I'm So jealous you got to experience victory in the plains, maybe someday I can too... yes, maybe someday

South Carolina takes early lead in SEC East - I make no apologies for my feelings about the Ole' Ball Coach. I still love him and root for him in every game but One (oh how I hate that game). So, to see him go into Athens and steal a win from the Dawgs, is pretty sweet. UGA was always his most important game @UF, thats because he holds grudges, lots of grudges, against anything really, for any reason. And he's found a new one this year, thats right Corso prepare to lose the next 15 out of 17.
And coming on the heels of a good bit a press in favor of the Dawgs, the result was surprising (Well to every one but me- see below). You'll also notice I predicted the Brandon Cox-esque play from the local drunk under center. The only good press Stafford will see the rest of the year is when he takes gold at the annual Taurean Charles Keg Throwin Contest. But don't worry Matty, I'm sure you'll find someone in Athens who still loves you. Sorry Georgia, its a long uphill battle from here. Atlanta may only be a few miles away from Athens, but it looks worlds apart at the moment.


FSU Struggle with UAB - Thats right, the mighty Blazers of Birmingham. FSU didn't take the lead for good until the last play of the 3rd quater. So for those of you wondering about the state of the Head Coach check here.


Oklahoma abuses former powerhouse - Thats right, "Former". Miami is not back, and doesn't look to be coming back anytime soon. Oklahoma put on the second most impressive win of the weekend (behind only LSU).

Michigan sinks lower than low - the Wolverines are so bad that I fear for the game of football. Yes, the game of college football could sink to all-time lows this coming weekend when the Wolverines take on...

Notre Dame conitues Suckfest - Coach still in Denial - Weis and his group of ... young guys with matching shirts (I hesitate to call them football players or a "team" because that would be an insult to the words "football" and "team") lose another ugly game, and I'm using ugly only because the words fit to descibe ND football are too offensive to post on this Website. If your looking for a cheap laugh, and I'm sure you are, remember this: Charlie Weis's nickname is "the Genius"


More Tomorow.....

Week Two, (second to none, except maybe one other)

The Weekend is upon us, celebrate accordingly.



What a slate of games we have on hand. This makes rivalry week look like mid October by comparison, if you know what I mean. For those of you who don't know what I mean, I've rated the games with Corso heads - 1 through 5, with 4 being a can't miss game, and 5 being a game you'd skip your own wedding for.

Troy vs. UF - 6:00 Game two of the Tim Tebow Experience looks to be another dud. However, upon closer review this Troy team is no slouch. They return all their weapons on Offense and 8 starters on D. The took FSU into the 4th quarter last year, Won the Sun Belt, Blew out Rice in the Bowl game and .... Seriously, I can't even convince myself. They may be the Sun Belt champs this year but they're still just the Sun Belt champs. Too many good games this week to stick around past halftime - Hope its in the bag by then (please don't pull a Mich.)


Nebraska vs. Wake Forest - 12:00 - This game will be an indication of whether or not Nebraska is ready for USC next week. My guess is they aren't, but they're still better than the defending ACC champs.(thats still funny to me).


Miami vs. Oklahoma - 12:00 - Time to see where Miami stands. As much as I'd like to see them sink into mediocrity, I don't think they will. This game will show how far Randy Shannon has taken his team. He's been to Norman before, in 85' , as a player, when the Canes upset the Sooners. I doubt he can recreate history though, These Sooner looked really good last Saturday. But this one is low scoring and close.

Michigan vs. Oregon - 3:30 - The Wolverines look to rebound against a solid Duck team. It's pretty much do or die for Lloyd Carr. "Do" win and fans will still hate you, don't win and I'll "Die" of laughter.


S. Carolina vs. Georgia - 5:45 - Until last weeks results this game was near the top of my list. the Cocks looked bad, and UGA had both sides of the ball goin' - Although the Ole' Ball coach made a point of always beating UGA so don't count him out. Steve doesn't like people tellin' him he can't do things, Just Ask Corso. in fact, Mitchel is back this week and that quality play from Stafford was probably and aberration. Cocks by a TD,
and Add a Corso head to that rating.



Notre Dame vs. Penn St. - 6:00 - Not gonna be a good game. Too bad for PSU fans ticket prices don't reflect that. Only watchable thing will be waiting to see when Baby Clausen gets injured. When he does, I'll be cheering like these fans at the demise of Michigan.


TCU vs. Texas - 7:00 - Upset Special - The longhorns looked bad last week and the horned Frogs have a knack for knocking off highly ranked opponents. This one may be for bragging rights in the state of Texas (sorry A&M)


USF vs. Auburn - 9:00 - This game has been circled on the calendar for a long time. It is widely regarded as fact that the Auburn Tigers annually pick an early season game, cover it with fresh linens, fluff it up, pull the covers over it and take a nap on it. In 02' and 03' it was USC, in 03' and 05' it was GaTech, and last year the Tigers stayed out late drinkin' and around mid-season passed out on top of the Razorbacks. Months ago this game was circled as the first pop quiz of the semester that the Tigers would sleep through. Unfortunately for USF, the Tigers didn't even show up on time the first day of class. Presumably, this, paired with the Michigan debacle, will put the fear of God in the Tigers. So no lucky breaks for Grothe and the Bulls, you'll have to prove yourself mano e mano. But I'm just crazy enough to think the Bulls can win straight up. USF in a close one.


VaTech vs. LSU - 9:20 - Game of the Week - First team to 10 points wins. D will be the theme, and D will be very few points to go around. D Tigers look like D more complete team, have D home field advantage, and have more D-eep threats on D offense. D Hokies are D best team in D land at getting turnovers, and have D special team edge. Here's hoping D cheers of an entire nation can lift D Hokies to D Victory, cause D schedule only gets easier from Here. D

Noticeably absent from these game is FSU. Thats because they suck and are unwatchable, here's something infinitely more watchable than FSU football, yet somehow the two smell the exact same.




See yall in G-ville this weekend. We'll be back under the Oaks at Norman. This time with satellite TV (fingers crossed).
Heres your daily dose of YouTube - Lets all thank God we aren't K-State fans
We'll be back Monday with the "Fallout" and tell your friends, I don't want to write this stuff for nothing... but I will, just don't make me.

Gator Offseason - thank goodness its over

In case you decided to do better things this summer than follow the happenings of the hundred or so Football players and staff at the University of Florida, I'm here to fill you in on what you missed.

Ronnie Wilson - Well the offseason got off to a bang (pun, unfortunately intended) with the arrest of Starting O-lineman Wilson. Wilson, in a fit of shear stupidity fired an assault rifle in the air to let someone "know how it felt to be scared." , this someone surrisingly isn't afraid of 300 lb o-linemen and needed reinforcement. Ronnie was kicked off the team and ordered to take anti-stupidity classes. He plans on accepting a scholarship to Miami later this year.

Cam Newton - This Gator freshman has been named the #2 QB in the land of championships. For those of you who enjoyed Tebow's stint last year as QB/FB we now have a Tebow for Tebow. If rumors are to be believed, and they certianly are here, believed as fact even, maybe even uber-fact, then Newton is taller, bigger, faster, and stronger than Tebow. Which means the backup QB/FB position could be a mainstay in the Meyer offense.

Joey Ijjas - Despite not needing a competent kicker (see Hetland: 2006) the Gators have named Ijjas- (pronounced Ee-hoss) as the starter for the 07 season. Ijjas is a former walk-on who handled kickoffs last year. I say "former" walk-on b/c of this story. Ijjas stared free tuition in the face and said "You're down three points now Education Fees"

John Brown - Every single Gator recruit qualified academically. Thats a nice way of saying we only recruit good guys/ we can bend the rules better than you. Well they have, sorta. John Brown is still waiting to hear from the NCAA, cause he waited till the last minute to pass 10th grade geometry. So as of now he's not on the team, but thats seems pretty good when you hear Auburn didn't qualify 10 of its recruits.

Phil Trautwein - apparently tattoos make your bones soft. After having the darn cutest tattoo I've ever seen emblazoned on his arm, the versatile Trautwein broke his foot just days before the season. See ya next year Phil.

Brandon James - With the second dumbest incident of the summer, and its a distant second to "Sargent Slaughter Wilson", comes James and his arrest for buying pot. James has positioned himself to replace departed Marcus Thomas as UF's starting left bong packer in the dime(bag) package, which involves the whole team hot-boxing the locker room.

Kyle Jackson - The much maligned Jackson, somehow regained the starting free safety spot this spring. Apparently the coaches haven't noticed Jackson taking angles so poor that, if they were a triangle they'd be obtuse, and tackling skills that have been compared to this kid.

Chris Rainey - Once described as a person who it would be great to be, by himself no less. The eccentric Rainey continued his comical genius this summer by continuing to refer to himself in third person and also revealing he likes "white women". This is a player who sets specific goals and does whatever it take to achieve them, Good for you Chris, reach for the stars.

Major Wright - this freshman stud got my attention and I can only assume Chris Rainey's attention as well with this hit(fast-forward to the 30 sec. mark).

Apparently Rainey was distracted right before this hit by a group of "white chicks". Hopefully one day soon, Major will take away Kyle Jackson's starting position for the last time.

Top Ten - (Just like the others- only with more right)

Week One is in the bag and now we have a limited amount of evidence to go by. Unfortunately, we're not CSI:CFB so it's still hard to rank teams based on Blood splatters (Mich, Texas) and Semen Samples (Louisville, Cal). The best way is to pick a top ten is to identify the 10 teams and evaluate them based on the Half-Team theory.
The Half-Team Theory states that a team comprised of one really great side of the ball can go very far in the season, but the lacking side of ball will someday rear it's ugly head and cost said team a victory when it matters. Once the weaker link is identified, the true strength of the team is determined by the weaker leg.

1. LSU - clearly a Defense first team. Offense on Thurs. was beyond serviceable despite vanilla playcalling by new OC (Jimbo who?), could be a great year in Baton Rouge
2. Oklahoma - Questions on Offense: new QB? no Peterson? - Led by Murray and Bradford, questions have been silenced by the 79 point exclamation .... point on Saturday.
3. Louisville - Offense was outstanding despite new HC- D only gave up 270 yrds
4. W. Virginia - Most Exciting show in CFB lived up to hype, however D gave up 277 yrd in the air to directional Mich. Think Kragthorpe and Brohm aren't drooling over that?
5. UF - Tebow Show got off to a bang, but D looked suspect despite only 200yrds and 3 points
6. USC - This year a D first team(in the Pac-10? whhhhaaat?). USC O sputtered to 38 points gaining less than 10 yards per completion.
7. Georgia - Very well-rounded game by UGA. D gave up just 266 yrds to a highly touted O. Weak-link Stafford appears strangely competent.
8. VaTech - A true half team. D is stellar with no signs of O within 200 miles of Blacksburg.
9. Cal - Fantastic Showing by Longshore/Jackson/Forsett, However, D couldn't contain one-dimensional Tenn O.
10.Wisconsin - Lots of potential because weak leg O carried D on Saturday. Not sure what kind of half team this is.



If you find your favorite team absent from the list, feel free to complain. But the fact remains, your team just isn't that good. Mine is though - Go Gators

The Monday Fallout - yeah i know its wednesday

Welcome back loyal readers - I'm well aware there are no loyal readers yet, but I feel that if I start a post with this every once in a while, new readers will gain a sense of camaraderie with long time readers, as if they too are long suffering fans of my work.

What a phenomenal start to the season this Saturday was. I couldn't be more satisfied with what transpired. Beginning Friday with excitement over the fact my face* was used On ESPN.com , and in the middle of a fantastic article nonetheless. Through the start of the Tebow era, which will include deep routes, To the night cap of three SEC showdowns.
So often the first week of the season is highly anticipated for weeks, nay months, Only to fall flat with the now traditional cupcake match-ups that dot the early schedules of teams nationwide. This weekend was much more like Christmas in September. The Event lived up to the hype, complete with the early Christmas present, in this case the Thurs. night LSU thumping layed on MSU. (much like Christmas this gift was not without joy but still lacked the firepower of a new bike, or even Nintendo 64)
*Not my actual face

The early games began without a marque match-up, yet yielded the best result of the weekend. Appalachian State is the new Boise State, the new George Mason, the new Villanova, the new 1980 USA hockey team, the new Kevin Federline (Seriouly, how did this guy land Britney, and the new Britney is of course Michigan, prepare for the nervous breakdown Wolverines). For those of you unfamiliar with ASU- heres everything you need to know -


ASU is hot, hot, hot. (actually an understatement at this point)


As for the rest of Saturday-

Notre Dame - looked worse than ever - a glance at their schedule reveals about three winable games. Thats not really news, I know, but its fun to type.

AUBURN - wakes up mid 4th quarter and realizes theres a football game going on, thanks for showing up, you almost missed the party you jerks

GEORGIA- Looks like it could be a good year in Athens, of course "good" is all relative when you can't beat your biggest rival. For highlights of the game check this out (be sure to scroll down and watch the video). They're the worst highlights ever, but also a metaphor for the game, UGA and OSU tussle till the end of the first quarter, at which point the dawgs throw a decent but not outstanding punch and OSU subsequently falls like the poorly coached stack of cards that they are.

TENNESSEE- attempted to run up and down the field with Cal, Cal just a little more apt at running than this guy. Apparently the Pacific Ocean is like Defense's Kryptonite. Vols, you have disappointed us (SEC) for the last time, traitors. We send you to the land of film and hippies and you return with DeSean Jackson's footprints on your back, If you plan on tackling like that the rest of the season, you can stay out west, you'd fit in much more easily. I sentence you to another season of 6-6, you hillbillies.

MIAMI - A solid outing against the abysmal Thundering Herd. Could be considered a success until you see they passed for a wishbone-like 81 yards, good start for Kirby- Have fun in Norman next week. Also, announcing the game - Larry Coker, proving that, yes, the crypt keeper will continue to haunt the grounds in Coral Gables

And then like a gift hidden under the tree skirt, comes FSU and the poor facsimile of football they like to play.

FSU - "Its Bocking and Tackling, They're Bocking, we aren't. They're Tackling, we aren't. If it was the other way around we'd be winning." -Bobby Bowden
This message brought to you by senility.


Here's the schedule for the rest of the week -
Wed morning - well it is already, and you're reading it
Wed PM - Top Ten
Thurs. morning - Recap the wacky Gator offseason
Fri morning - Games of the week