In case you decided to do better things this summer than follow the happenings of the hundred or so Football players and staff at the University of Florida, I'm here to fill you in on what you missed.
Ronnie Wilson - Well the offseason got off to a bang (pun, unfortunately intended) with the arrest of Starting O-lineman Wilson. Wilson, in a fit of shear stupidity fired an assault rifle in the air to let someone "know how it felt to be scared." , this someone surrisingly isn't afraid of 300 lb o-linemen and needed reinforcement. Ronnie was kicked off the team and ordered to take anti-stupidity classes. He plans on accepting a scholarship to Miami later this year.
Cam Newton - This Gator freshman has been named the #2 QB in the land of championships. For those of you who enjoyed Tebow's stint last year as QB/FB we now have a Tebow for Tebow. If rumors are to be believed, and they certianly are here, believed as fact even, maybe even uber-fact, then Newton is taller, bigger, faster, and stronger than Tebow. Which means the backup QB/FB position could be a mainstay in the Meyer offense.
Joey Ijjas - Despite not needing a competent kicker (see Hetland: 2006) the Gators have named Ijjas- (pronounced Ee-hoss) as the starter for the 07 season. Ijjas is a former walk-on who handled kickoffs last year. I say "former" walk-on b/c of this story. Ijjas stared free tuition in the face and said "You're down three points now Education Fees"
John Brown - Every single Gator recruit qualified academically. Thats a nice way of saying we only recruit good guys/ we can bend the rules better than you. Well they have, sorta. John Brown is still waiting to hear from the NCAA, cause he waited till the last minute to pass 10th grade geometry. So as of now he's not on the team, but thats seems pretty good when you hear Auburn didn't qualify 10 of its recruits.
Phil Trautwein - apparently tattoos make your bones soft. After having the darn cutest tattoo I've ever seen emblazoned on his arm, the versatile Trautwein broke his foot just days before the season. See ya next year Phil.
Brandon James - With the second dumbest incident of the summer, and its a distant second to "Sargent Slaughter Wilson", comes James and his arrest for buying pot. James has positioned himself to replace departed Marcus Thomas as UF's starting left bong packer in the dime(bag) package, which involves the whole team hot-boxing the locker room.
Kyle Jackson - The much maligned Jackson, somehow regained the starting free safety spot this spring. Apparently the coaches haven't noticed Jackson taking angles so poor that, if they were a triangle they'd be obtuse, and tackling skills that have been compared to this kid.
Chris Rainey - Once described as a person who it would be great to be, by himself no less. The eccentric Rainey continued his comical genius this summer by continuing to refer to himself in third person and also revealing he likes "white women". This is a player who sets specific goals and does whatever it take to achieve them, Good for you Chris, reach for the stars.
Major Wright - this freshman stud got my attention and I can only assume Chris Rainey's attention as well with this hit(fast-forward to the 30 sec. mark).
Apparently Rainey was distracted right before this hit by a group of "white chicks". Hopefully one day soon, Major will take away Kyle Jackson's starting position for the last time.
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